hardcore days and softcore nights

I’m sitting here at the computer on this beautiful friday morning, nibbling at my blueberry bagel, and sipping my tropical citrus vitamin water. And as I am doing this, I realized something. My mind never stops. At first I was going to say that I had absolutely nothing on my mind. And then I started thinking about having nothing on my mind, and then remembering other occurrences that happened yesterday and throughout this week. I know that more than half of my posts are about my thoughts and how I wish I could understand them. It seems to be my biggest frustration that I can’t even riddle out my own thoughts. It’s almost like a foreign language. I was in bethany’s room the other day taking her some laundry, and I found a piece of paper on her dresser, and it had a quote on it that I love. I don’t know who wrote it, if it was from anything, and sadly, I don’t even remember all of it. The end of it stuck out to me though.“I write because I need a way to be able to think.”and I realized that this totally relates to me. My thoughts always come to life on paper. Now I’m not a good writer like my sister, Bethany, and I dare say that I don’t have the patients to sit down and write a book, also like my sister Bethany has! But I do like to be able to write down exactly what’s inside my head without having to sugar coat it, or worry about offending someone. I have many torn, dog eared notebooks scattered around throughout my room with all of my sacred thoughts and happenings. Most of these blog posts that have thoughts of great importance that I decided to post on here have been copied from my notebook. I don’t like to think of it as a journal. Because sadly, that piece of tomboy is still inside of me. I still call it notebook. Journal sounds to girly for me. When I was little, I didn’t believe in shoes. They were a silly thing that my mom forced me to wear, but as soon as she wasn’t looking, I would always kick them off and stash them in a hiding spot for me to throw back on before I returned to her. It didn’t matter what I was doing, climbing trees, having running races, riding bikes, playing soccer; I was always barefoot. This winter I got into the habit of wearing socks. Unless I was in the shower, I was wearing socks. Mainly because my feet got so cold. But now that it’s summer time, and constant sock wearing season is over, I’m finding my new habit hard to break. Not only do I love my mixed socks (I don’t believe in matched socks. they’re over rated) but I’m also wondering how on earth I did all that I did without wearing shoes when I was younger. Trying to claw my way out of my habit, I ventured out and didn’t wear socks yesterday evening. I decided to kick it up a notch and go outside barefoot. I went into the backyard where everyone else was. Well when I came inside, there was this sharp, poking sensation in the bottom of my foot. And I suddenly realized why I never go barefoot anymore. Stickers. I have a pesky little sticker lodged up somewhere in my foot. Oh, I can feel it alright, but I can’t find it. It’s driving me crazy. Monday my family went over to the Frankland’s (minus the boys because they were in San Antonio for a hiking trip). We ate, laughed, played volley ball, sat outside and talked and had an all around good time. Well we ended up coming home with a kitten. Michaela’s cat had kittens again, and she had several black kittens. Mom has always wanted a black cat, but her dad was superstitious and never would let her have one. Well, shockingly, my dad let her get one. We were and are very surprised. She named him Yoda. I’m finding it a little hard to adjust by calling a kitten yoda, so I’m calling him “yo” or “master yoda”. Ho hum. Let’s see. Last Thursday Mom, Bethany, Danielle and I went to Sherman to go shopping. It was a ton of fun. We picked up my mema with us on the way there. I got a bag that I found a few months back that I really wanted, but it was $30 bucks, and I found it this time for $15, and it was the very last one. And I also got a shirt that happens to be my new favorite shirt with one of my newish favorite colors. Yellow. The past year I’ve started liking yellow more and more. Tuesday night I spent the night at Sarah’s. We went to wal mart and ended up seeing Thomas and Michael there, so we walked aimlessly around wal mart for several hours, goofing off and talking. It was fun. When we got back to her house we watched most of Anne of Green Gables before we decided to call it a night. I passed out around 2:00ish, and Sarah didn’t get to bed till probably a little after 3:00. Jolly good fun. I think I’ve said everything that I care to say.

over and out.

~ by Hannah on May 29, 2009.